Take Care of Your Sh*t: How I Lost 100 Pounds and Still Wasn't Happy

If you read that title and immediately went "Boo-f*cking-hoo, you lost weight and are still sad", that's a totally fair response. Losing weight is hard. I'd guess most of us, even if we're outwardly 'thin', struggle with our body image. So, when you read that someone actually did make a major transformation and is still not happy it's easy to write that off.

All that said, losing weight isn't a cure all. What's sad is, gyms, fitness programs, nutrition systems show you pictures of "thin" people running and drinking shakes or Michelob Ultra and smiling. As if those things are going to put this perma-grin on your face like you're a Ken doll. It doesn't though. There's a lot harder work you have to do than lifting weights or running an extra mile on the treadmill in order to reach what we think losing weight will give us.

You can lose weight, have a slim waist, big pecs and a poppin' booty and still be the same person you were at the start. Health and fitness shouldn't stop once you peel your sweaty compression shorts off. If anything, that's where the hard part begins. During the ride of your fitness/weight loss journey, if you don't look at the thoughts you think every day then your change will only be surface level.

Growing up, I was always on the thicker end of things. I was the kid who had to shop in the 'husky' section. I was the kid who even in 7^th grade didn't want to go to pool parties because it meant I had to take my shirt off. Those images of ourselves and that negative talk can hang around way longer than any amount of weight. Once I started on my weight loss path, I had the simple mindset that once I was "thin" I'd be happy. I'd feel cool. I'd feel like what I imagine Chris Hemsworth feels like when he's walking out of the ocean holding a surf board. What I found out was that I almost disliked myself more and in new ways.

First off, when you're not really taking care of yourself, it's easy to write off feeling crappy. I mean you're not doing anything to feel better and you just ordered another pizza, so yeah, that explains a lot. But once you really start trying to feel better and physically you feel great but you still kind of hate yourself for not being "perfect" yet. I got to the point where even though everyone else would complement me, all I would think about was the fact that my abdomen wasn't chiseled.

Secondly, reality is a tough place to live. Between Instagram & the constant stream of Marvel movies, it's really easy to have the impression that everyone but you are a golden god with visible abs even when they're chowing down on amazing food. I still have to remind myself that images on social media and in movies aren't the norm.

I'm sure if I had someone constantly watching my food, my workouts and every aspect of my life that I could have abs for a day or so too, but I don't. I have a job. I'm writing this in a cubicle. Sure, I do my best to eat clean and train 4-5 x week. I also have a near encyclopedic knowledge of bar deals around Chicago and friends who are fun to drink with. I live in the real world where maintaining what I think is the perfect look is physically impossible.

What I have started doing, and this has become somewhat of my mantra, is taking care of my sh*t. I talk to a therapist, I try to mediate regularly, I journal my thoughts down when they start to spiral, I'm trying to take care of my sh*t. We all have it, sh*t that is. It'd be weird if you didn't. So having sh*t is fine, but not taking care of it is the issue.

You can lose 100 pounds, finally buy that leather jacket you've always wanted and still feel like nothing. As you work towards whatever goal you have, make sure you're looking at the whole painting that is your life. It's a massive canvas and even if you paint the best image of yourself in the middle, there's still a ton more space to fill in. Make sure you fill in that space with something beautiful and something that is ultimately more important than a superhero physique.